Monday, July 27, 2009

On divorce ...

I think my brain's so tired of dreaming about weddings or matrimonial bliss it decided to give me some variety last night.

Here are a few of the highlights:

My family and I live in a super crummy apartment in New York which is attached to some college dorms.
Mangy cat wanders aimlessly.
Jenny*comes over and starts flirting with two boys by the drinking fountain and expects me to join in.
I protest. Neither boy is that cute anyway, I tell her.
Jenny announces she's getting a divorce.
Jenny gets into a shouting match with my mom after she insults my waxing techniques and my mom tells her to shut up because at least I didn't miss all those stray hairs Jenny has hanging off her chin.
Jenny gets angry and leaves, stray hairs waggling in the wind.
I drive Jenny home and mangy cat wanders aimlessly.
Then I'm on a ski lift.
So are lots of other people.
We get off and go to class.
USU has clearly made improvements to it's student transportation.
I steal a sign I made for an Institute dance.
Jenny and I walk into an office and begin filing for a divorce.
Mangy cat wanders aimlessly.
I have to show the sign that has the words "Young Single Adult Dance Committee" to prove that I am now officially single and need a divorce.
Wait, I'm not the one who wants a divorce!
Wait, I'm not married yet!! I don't want to be single! And I definitely don't want to be on the "Young Single Adult Dance Committee!
I start searching frantically for my ring.
Lady at the desk tells me to sit down and wait.
Sign won't count alone as proof of singleness. I'll need an e-mail from one of the advisers.
Nice judge in a bright red shirt comes out and takes the next customer in line.
Jenny and I sit down.
Mangy cat crawls on my lap as creepy homeless guy talks to me in waiting room.
Jenny scores a date with water fountain guy.

I woke up feeling itchy because I'm allergic to cats.

I think I'm ready to go back to the dreams about cheesecake and a Mexican honeymoon.

*Name has been changed to protect the innocent.

6 comments:

TabithaK said...

You never cease to amaze me. haha. I love the way you tell these stories, and it does sound like quite a disturbing dream. Cheesecake and Mexican Honeymoons sounds much more exciting!

Natalie | Make Today Great said...

Oh dear, I'd love to know who that friend was! haha

Hang in there, totes stressful now.

On our anniversary trip, I dreamed I had a girl baby, but when I got home, it was a tiny boy baby. And I took it home in a take out container. And I just stared at it, not taking it out.

Cari said...

Just wait til you start having babies. The dreams are even more weird.

Anonymous said...

I think I like Natalie's dream just as much as yours. It's a twofer post!

Also, sorry I couldn't make it to your shower. I bought you fun things for your Mexican honeymoon :D

Kristen said...

In the most loving way possible, allow me to mention the obvious: You're nuts.

Drew Nash said...

Dude, that's deep.