Monday, July 27, 2009

On divorce ...

I think my brain's so tired of dreaming about weddings or matrimonial bliss it decided to give me some variety last night.

Here are a few of the highlights:

My family and I live in a super crummy apartment in New York which is attached to some college dorms.
Mangy cat wanders aimlessly.
Jenny*comes over and starts flirting with two boys by the drinking fountain and expects me to join in.
I protest. Neither boy is that cute anyway, I tell her.
Jenny announces she's getting a divorce.
Jenny gets into a shouting match with my mom after she insults my waxing techniques and my mom tells her to shut up because at least I didn't miss all those stray hairs Jenny has hanging off her chin.
Jenny gets angry and leaves, stray hairs waggling in the wind.
I drive Jenny home and mangy cat wanders aimlessly.
Then I'm on a ski lift.
So are lots of other people.
We get off and go to class.
USU has clearly made improvements to it's student transportation.
I steal a sign I made for an Institute dance.
Jenny and I walk into an office and begin filing for a divorce.
Mangy cat wanders aimlessly.
I have to show the sign that has the words "Young Single Adult Dance Committee" to prove that I am now officially single and need a divorce.
Wait, I'm not the one who wants a divorce!
Wait, I'm not married yet!! I don't want to be single! And I definitely don't want to be on the "Young Single Adult Dance Committee!
I start searching frantically for my ring.
Lady at the desk tells me to sit down and wait.
Sign won't count alone as proof of singleness. I'll need an e-mail from one of the advisers.
Nice judge in a bright red shirt comes out and takes the next customer in line.
Jenny and I sit down.
Mangy cat crawls on my lap as creepy homeless guy talks to me in waiting room.
Jenny scores a date with water fountain guy.

I woke up feeling itchy because I'm allergic to cats.

I think I'm ready to go back to the dreams about cheesecake and a Mexican honeymoon.

*Name has been changed to protect the innocent.

6 comments:

TabithaK said...

You never cease to amaze me. haha. I love the way you tell these stories, and it does sound like quite a disturbing dream. Cheesecake and Mexican Honeymoons sounds much more exciting!

Natalie said...

Oh dear, I'd love to know who that friend was! haha

Hang in there, totes stressful now.

On our anniversary trip, I dreamed I had a girl baby, but when I got home, it was a tiny boy baby. And I took it home in a take out container. And I just stared at it, not taking it out.

Cari said...

Just wait til you start having babies. The dreams are even more weird.

lifeofdi said...

I think I like Natalie's dream just as much as yours. It's a twofer post!

Also, sorry I couldn't make it to your shower. I bought you fun things for your Mexican honeymoon :D

Kristen said...

In the most loving way possible, allow me to mention the obvious: You're nuts.

Drew said...

Dude, that's deep.