Saturday, August 22, 2009

On honeymoons ...

Place: Playa del Carmen, Mexico

Time: Third night of honeymoon, around 3 a.m. (I'm out COLD!!! )

"OH NO!!!!"

Dave sits up straight in bed shouting. The motion and noise wake me and I turn alarmed to see a very panicked husband.

"What's going on?" I reach out for his arm.

"The marsupial is changing in the locker above us," he says urgently.

Silence. I pull back. My still fuzzy brain is slow to process ... Did he just say what I think he said? Do I remember the definition of the word marsupial at 3 in the morning?

"Honey ... what?"

"You know. Kangaroo," he tries again, patiently rewording his response. "It's changing in the locker above us."

"I'm sorry but can you say that again? I'm really confused."

Brain finally realizes he may not be awake.

He looks straight at me then up at the ceiling.

"Oh," he says. "Don't worry about it."

A few hours later as we're getting ready for the day he has absolutely NO recollection of any kangaroo or of waking me up.

Married less than a week and already finding marriage amazingly entertaining!!

On success ...

Doing what you want won't get you anywhere; at least not according to Albert Gray.

"Success," he said, "is something which is achieved by the minority of men, and is therefore unnatural and not to be achieved by following our natural likes and dislikes nor by being guided by our natural preferences and prejudices."

Hmm...

Well, I should be wildly successful in law school then because there's been a lot of things the past couple of weeks I've found to be against my natural taste -- mainly:

Attending BYU -- I've dodged Education Weekers, seen parents point proudly to the large white Y on the mountain indoctrinating their young and wondered stupidly why people were giving me the "why are you explaining that to me" stare when I qualify the 18 months I spent in Tennessee with "I was serving as a missionary for the LDS Church" until I remember I'm at a school owned by the church I proselyted for.

The Socratic method -- I'm used to choosing to be called on by raising my hand in class, knowing the answers and there being one "right" answer. Now all the rules I knew and loved about the traditional school system have been changed. I am now referred to as Ms. Nelson, I speak almost only when called upon, I don't always know what the teacher is trying to get at and there is only sometimes a right answer. Today, my friends, I began to learn to learn and think like a lawyer, an officer of the court, the defender of the rules that regulate human behavior and keep us a free nation ... and it was exciting.

Becoming a charity case -- Thanks to AstraZeneca, one month from now I will be receiving one of the two medications I receive for free. There is no prescription insurance as part of the BYU Health Plan. But they do have this really awesome wholesale pharmacy where you can get your drugs generally for cheaper than what you would have paid with insurance -- at least for the 95 percent of cases when a generic of your prescription is available. I was that lucky 5 percent who found myself near tears when the bill for a one-month supply of a daily, necessary medication came to $321. One hour with a nurse/prescription advocate and the producers of the Purple Pill had kindly offered to enroll me in the Prescription Assistance Program. Meaning they get a tax break, I get my medication for a limited time while prescription insurance is out of my reach and no Medicare, Medicaid or other government welfare programs were utilized. Best of all my stomach won't eat itself from the inside out. I would rather pay for my own medicine and I'm willing to take generics when they are available. But until the day one or the other is an option for me, I'm grateful for companies who are willing to see healing people as a primary goal in addition to making a buck. (Subsequent blog post and rants and raves on health care coming ... feel free to give me ammunition in the comments.)

For Dave, this week has meant all sorts of things that come naturally to him -- being sweet, sensitive and basically amazing ... but that doesn't meant it left him without some unusual experiences of his own.

Being the supportive husband he is, he came to the BYU Law School Family Orientation Lecture. Munching on the free vegetarian sandwich and potato chips the families were bribed with, he sat with women holding babies, dressed like Shade models and carrying ridiculously cute diaper bags listening to the spouses of upperclassmen explain what their husbands had asked them to share with the "new wives" about how the next three years would go down. There were only two other men in the room. They also opted out of signing the list requesting them to "share their talents at a mini-class." He came to learn how to help me and what he found was a really sweet, albeit largely young and possibly bored group of women, offering to be a support group to him in case he found himself sitting at home feeling lonely or neglected over the next three years. Good thing he's got that full-time job, 15 credits and a two-hour commute to distract him or he might just have to join the law school partner gang at craft day in the coming months. Our apartment could use some good decorations.

End of ridiculously long post.

(Please comment dear readers ... I've missed you.)

Monday, August 3, 2009

On [...]

"I don't know about you, but there's all these emotions conflicting and it's kind of left me just [ .... ] ."

His blank stare and overwhelmed posture in the silence made me laugh. I leaned back against him and the truck window trying to think of something to talk about that wasn't wedding or to-do list related. No luck. My brain drew a blank. So did my emotions. I had put off wading through the mess I'd been hit with all day and all of a sudden I wanted to sort through it.

So at 9:30 p.m. on a Sunday night I tried to make sense of the [....]

This is what I found:

Stress.

Fear.

Utter elation I'm in love with a wonderful man.

Awe.

Attraction.

Total joy when the "diamond white" vintage dress I wore for bridals and couldn't wait to put on again flashed through my mind.

The thought that eternity is a REALLY, REALLY long time.

Trepidation.

A total lack of income and more stress.

I was annoyed. For almost no explainable reason I was suddenly annoyed.

Joy.

Excitement.

A sudden desire to hang pictures, cut vinyl, light scented candles and organize the heck out of our new apartment with cute baskets, sharp looking Rubbermaid containers and refinished second-hand furniture.

Loss.

Love.

Overwhelming appreciation for my family.

More love.

Gratitude.

The feeling I would never really go home again and it hurt.

Hope for the future.




And that's how I spent the last Sunday night I'll be single. One more full day and two more "sleeps" as Sam calls them. I'd say I'm excited but I think it's more accurate if I leave you with [ .... ]

It's going to be INCREDIBLE.