Tuesday, June 23, 2009

On signs of the times ...

How I know I'm an adult:
Excitement ensues because I quit work next week but my insurance extends through next month.

How I know I'm ridiculous:
I argued with Di over the difference between the colors cranberry and raspberry.
Emilie claims neither of these are actually colors -- they're foods.

How I know I'm an adult but still not grownup:
Andrea and I rock-paper-scissored in an Italian restaurant because we couldn't decide who got the mint and who got the butterscotch candy left on our check.

How I know I'm engaged:
I get distracted by the glitter when I type.
(more to come)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

On nutrition ....

My mom is at a nutrition conference this week. At a presentation on sustainable food she was told it takes 20 calories worth of fossil fuel to produce just one calorie worth of beef.
Four hours later I was at Texas Roadhouse.

Me: Did you know it takes 20 times the amount of fossil fuels to produce this kind of meat?

Dave: Yes. And the protein ratio for the vegetation consumed by cattle is 10:1. So if we just ate all the vegetables they eat we'd get 10 times the protein anyway.

Me: Wow. We really should try to eat more healthy. It's not just better for us but better for the environment.

Dave: Yup.

(Pause. We both dig into some tasty barbecue.)

Me: Hey, are you still hungry?? I am. Want some more ribs?

Dave: Sure!


One day I'll go green. But it definitely wasn't last night. Last night it was all about the burgundy colored barbecue sauce. Yum!

Monday, June 15, 2009

On the avian flu ...

1848 -- Seagulls may or may not have saved my ancestors

1913 -- Seagull Monument is built

1955 -- Legislation passes making the California gull, or Larus californicus, the official state bird of Utah

2008 -- Standard-Examiner makes the bird its mascot, convinces underpaid employee to wear yellow tights and oversized bird costume and distributes mass amounts of water bottles decorated with StanBird -- get it?? Standard? StanBird?

You can see a picture of the live version of our mascot here.

Which brings me to this picture, the stuffed version of StanBird:



One afternoon I exited the restroom and almost had a heart attack. It was staring at me. It was perched in the window. And it looked like it was going to shatter through the glass and fly right at me.

Someone keeps changing its position, ever so slightly in the window sill. Somedays it catches me when I'm coming out of the lunch room. Other times when I'm headed for the exit. But always, always I want to scream in terror.

I acknowledge this bird's contributions to my state, my family and my company. But MUST its eyes be so menacing?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

On catchphrases ...

Co-worker (on newly received information he finds less than enthralling): I don't know what he wants me to do with this. What does he think we're going to do? Alert the media or something??!

Me: But ... we are the media.

(long pause)

Co-worker: Oh, yeah.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

On salud, dinero, and especially, amor ...

This wasn't P.F. Chang's and it definitely wasn't Panda Express. It was delicious. The decor was simple, the ambience music was anything but Top 40 and our hostess was abundantly gracious. We felt relaxed all evening. Even the way the food was served was pure art. I've definitely found a new favorite restaurant.

To top it off, I got the world's best fortune cookie: You will have full contentment by summers end.

I like where that's going.

My 12th grade Spanish teacher told me when you sneeze in Mexico they bless you first with health, then with money and finally, with love.

The last few months have been a bit iffy in the health department, and money has been adequate, but not plentiful. When it comes to love, however, the fates have more than compensated.

I don't know what fortune's definition of "full contentment" is, but if this isn't it already, I can't wait to find out.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Speaking of law school ...

So I'm feeling much better about law school and I'm even feeling a little better about my preparation. Another BYU letter came in the mail this weekend and it said that if I was reading anything law-related to "STOP IT!" Read a novel, spend some time outside, I was told.

(I was also told to become "one" with my laptop and to increase my typing speed. I'm set on the typing speed. My mom thinks my fingers are the reason her keyboard is acting up. I do, however, need suggestions on how to further increase my unity with an electronic device. Is it just me or are these letters getting weirder and weirder?)

But even with a second mandate to do nothing but relax and put law school as far from my mind as possible, I couldn't help but pick up the copy of "Slaying the Law School Dragon" when I saw it laying on a co-worker's desk. A chapter on preparation caught my eye. Students are advised to be on campus a week early and spend hours in the library taking careful note of which chairs are the softest, the spots with the best natural light and where drafts or air conditioning vents are located to avoid the unnecessary time suck of moving places or to score the best study spot before anyone else. Your study environment is the most important part of your law school career ... a point driven home by this gem of a phrase. And I quote:

"Think of yourself as an embryo and the law school library as
your womb-home for the next three years."
....


.....


???WHAT???!!


There are so many disturbing ways in which I want to extend that analogy it's not even funny.


On a very unrelated note. I heard the song "No Scrubs" for the first time in years on the radio. It's really worth a re-listen. Sometimes I miss the late '90s.

Friday, June 5, 2009

I am woman. Hear me roar...

My boss has exactly 19 more work days to ask what I have coming for the weekend. After that, I'm going to law school.

"Anonymous" posted this link in the comments of a previous post: shimmygurrshimmy.blogspot.com.

Whoever you are: THANK YOU.

Why am I gushing about another blogger with such fervor? Because it gave me a glimmer of hope in the face of despair. "Enjoy life now because you never will again," is just about the only advice law school admissions staff, current law school students and law school spouses have offered. The possibilities of planning a wedding, having a baby or just catching a movie once in a while while slaying the law school dragon were described as complete impossibilities. Now: hope. Hope it's possible to survive law school with your faith, family and sense of fun still in tact.

Here's the proof: After three years of a Provo-based education this blogger is still capable of saying "Hell, yeah" when something is good. She wasn't murdered or tortured by BYU staff for being non-Republican. I like knowing I might come out of three years at BYU and still not know how to scrapbook, play Bunco or put vinyl phrases onto painted craft boards. Scary. I love knowing I could come out with a rocking education, a fantastic relationship, fabulous communication skills and still have a sense of humor. Awesome.

I left feeling energized because let's be honest, the world currently expects a LOT out of us women. As Natalie points out in her post about "The Second Shift," the women's liberation movement gave us more options. But it also gave us more to do. We must be mothers, teachers, chefs, decorators, lawyers, doctors, triathletes and we must do it all well and all at the same time. And then, in all our spare minutes we're supposed to blog about it. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed and I haven't even taken on half of the womanly roles I hope to yet.

So this post and in particular, this tongue-in-cheek response to a Debbie-Downer, was a nice reminder I've got it pretty good, too -- even if I am headed to law school:

(You know, I DO have a really hard life...you know, a champion husband, a healthy body, a supportive fam, a great education, a place to live, decent insurance,
etc....WHOA. Now that I think about it, no one has ever had a baby in harder circumstances. WHAT AM I THINKING???)

My friend Johanna is one of my heroes. We served as mission companions and I've never met anyone so capable of love. She is smart, she is tough and she is going to medical school. Andrea's headed to grad school. Amy is rocking it as a mother. Raquel is teaching and coaching high school students. Kristen's tearing it up in D.C. Emilie's the youngest editor I've ever met. Natalie is rocking the GMAT this weekend. I have amazing, capable, incredible friends who are touching and improving many, many lives. Which is why this post about LDS General Relief Society President Julie B. Beck meant so much to me. This entry reminded me how much I LOVE being a woman in today's world; how much I love being a woman who is also LDS. My generation may be the most privileged group of women to ever live. Ever. Seriously, ladies ... how lucky are we? Temple covenants? Check. Rocking educations and the right to vote? Check. Check. Clean drinking water? Check.

Yup. We've got it all.

On magic ...

Chocolate mixed with chocolate, doused in chocolate and then sprinkled with more chocolate.

If you've never ordered a chocolate milkshake from Chili's then stop reading this and go do so RIGHT. NOW.


Seriously, why are you still here?? I know ... Chili's doesn't seem like the most likely place for life-changing-milkshakes, but I assure you it is.


Life-changing.


GO!!!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

On preparation ...

The law school letter I received told me to look up the definition of and then "ponder and apply the word 'recreation.'" Unless I do this, the letter warns, my "reservoir will [not] be filled" and I will be left drained and incapable of surviving my first semester. (Reservoir, ponder and apply -- anyone still unsure which Utah law school I picked?) So I've been pondering. And doing a heck of a job to try to apply.
  • rec/re/a/tion -- refreshment by means of some pastime, agreeable exercise, or the like.

Turns out the above is a lot easier to "apply in our daily lives" than faith, hope or charity. So far I've gotten a pedicure, gone out to eat and gone swimming. Any other ideas? Or have I interpreted this wrong and I'm headed down some dark road of law school apostasy? Kind of like when this friend thought the Biblical story of the widow's mite was referring to a bug. Don't worry, a companion set her straight before she taught the good people of Tennessee it was OK to pay tithing with small insects.

Who knew going to a church school would be so much fun already?

Suggestions for recreating, favorite scripture verses on enduring to the end and advice on surviving three years in Utah County welcome.