Saturday, January 3, 2009

Personally speaking ...

Joe: I've done a lot of soul searching lately. I've been asking myself some tough questions. You know what I've found out?
Patricia: What?
Joe: I have no interest in myself. I think about myself, I get bored out of my mind.
--Joe Vs. the Volcano, 1990
When I was helping a friend edit/revise personal statements she was sending to various medical schools I couldn't have been more confident in my writing abilities or in the joys of "Google Documents." Red=strike. Green=it needs to be changed, here's where you could possibly take it. Blue=I modified it. It's better now ... don't touch it me.

Now I'm applying for law school. I have used up an entire bottle of digital white-out and crumpled hundreds of electronic pages, throwing them with poor aim into the virtual wastebasket. The writing gods are giving me my due. I have nothing.

Whip out a 20-inch story on the mundane topic of construction in higher education with a 2 p.m. deadline? Not a problem. Vent for pages about the injustices caused by policemen/carwrecks/roommates? Check. Write about myself for two pages, double-spaced, in a format that gets me into law school? My fingers start doing this: lakjdf lacioajdknfiadh bo9wqo'[odjskfnadf.

I have a feeling this isn't exactly what the LSAC is looking for when they request a personal statement:

Dear LSAC admission board,
You've seen my grades, my LSAT score and my resume. Now you want something more personal, huh? Well ... there was the time I had a recurring dream about giant bumblebees and the fact I'm still haunted by it, but that doesn't have much to do with law school, does it? What if I just told you I'm a decent student and I still really have no idea why I want to be lawyer? Will that get me in? Please e-mail any inquires or personal questions to the address listed above. In the meantime, I'll be awaiting my acceptance letter and scholarship notification.



lifeofdi said...

I think you have summed up how I feel about personal statements.

I have never sent something like that in to a college that I ever felt was really me. Oh, the joys of college entrance BS.

Steve said...

Stick with the bee thing.

Everyone is scared of bees, it'll help you relate to the committee.