Personally speaking ...

Joe: I've done a lot of soul searching lately. I've been asking myself some tough questions. You know what I've found out?
Patricia: What?
Joe: I have no interest in myself. I think about myself, I get bored out of my mind.

--Joe Vs. the Volcano, 1990

When I was helping a friend edit/revise personal statements she was sending to various medical schools I couldn't have been more confident in my writing abilities or in the joys of "Google Documents." Red=strike. Green=it needs to be changed, here's where you could possibly take it. Blue=I modified it. It's better now ... don't touch it ...trust me.

Now I'm applying for law school. I have used up an entire bottle of digital white-out and crumpled hundreds of electronic pages, throwing them with poor aim into the virtual wastebasket. The writing gods are giving me my due. I have nothing.

Whip out a 20-inch story on the mundane topic of construction in higher education with a 2 p.m. deadline? Not a problem. Vent for pages about the injustices caused by policemen/carwrecks/roommates? Check. Write about myself for two pages, double-spaced, in a format that gets me into law school? My fingers start doing this: lakjdf lacioajdknfiadh bo9wqo'[odjskfnadf.

I have a feeling this isn't exactly what the LSAC is looking for when they request a personal statement:

Dear LSAC admission board,
You've seen my grades, my LSAT score and my resume. Now you want something more personal, huh? Well ... there was the time I had a recurring dream about giant bumblebees and the fact I'm still haunted by it, but that doesn't have much to do with law school, does it? What if I just told you I'm a decent student and I still really have no idea why I want to be lawyer? Will that get me in? Please e-mail any inquires or personal questions to the address listed above. In the meantime, I'll be awaiting my acceptance letter and scholarship notification.
Brooke

HELP!!!!!!